To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday”.


  • Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.” 


  • There will be a special section with lounge chairs who feel that our pews are too hard. 


  • Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching T.V. late Saturday night. 


  • We will have steel helmets for those who say ” The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.” 


  • Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot. 


  • Score cards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.


  • Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner, too. 


  • We will distribute “Stamp Out Stewardship” buttons for those who feel that church is always asking for money.


  • One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.


  • Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.


  • The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.


  • We will provide hearing aids for those who can’t hear the preacher and cotton for those who say he is too loud.


Print Friendly, PDF & Email