Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that’ll make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
We could learn a lot from crayons… Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.